a little coffee

Disclaimer: This is a Rant.

I had this brilliant idea for classes this week. Movie! They’d love to watch an English movie and I would love a lazy week of no class planning and no cajoling the students to talk. AND I already have a topic for next week: talking about the movie. Win-win.

Oh, but the Doodles make it sooooooo much more difficult than that.

I, being a planner, told my classes two weeks in advance that I would show a film. Since the only teaching tool in the classroom is a semi-clean chalkboard, I had to reserve different rooms to do this, hence the notice. First, I went to the English department, where they told me no rooms were available for two classes on Monday morning. I knew was bullshit because other teachers have shown movies to classes Monday mornings. No, they didn’t listen to me when I mentioned this. Fine, Office. Don’t cooperate with me. I’ll use other channels. So I told the students to deal with getting a room. Easier, right? Maybe. No. For two classes I had to postpone showing the film because I had to apply first. This entailed me “listing some reasons” why I wanted to use that room. Um. So we could take naps? But applying was only required for two classes, not the other six. Power trip?

So Monday afternoon and I’m ready to show a movie. I have a Doodle copy of “Last of the Mohicans” all ready to go. Only the software the computers use doesn’t pull up the film nice and easy like the TV or my computer does, but splits the film into 22 minute segments that you have to piece together first, in order, or they won’t play. My first class that encountered this problem couldn’t figure this out (and I’m completely helpless because this shit, pirated Windows software is in Doodles) so I had to dismiss them, which was obviously a waste of a class. 

 Also, that same shit software doesn’t allow for any subtitles. Or does it? This is a mystery because other teachers have insisted that the students can figure it out after a while. Not after twenty minutes they can’t. Not after the incompetent “tech support” interrupts a movie with only 40 minutes left to dick around for another 20 and do absolutely nothing. So far, four classes haven’t been able to figure how to use the subtitles. Even after phone calls to, presumably, more knowledgeable people. 

And the process of actually getting a room. The first three classes went off without a hitch. The fourth, though, was a bunch of shenanigans. Maybe it was timing. It was the first class after lunch/nap time and the teachers in charge of these special movie rooms were cranky? First one teacher says we can use a room, then other one says no. I stood by and watched the class leaders and the teacher exchange vehement Chinese for a few minutes before the crotchety teacher finally forked over the keys to a room that had equipment in it that didn’t work. On to a different room. The door and/or key is incredibly old/shit so it takes over five minutes to get the damn door open and other fifteen to figure out how to work the sound systems and get the screen projector down. Getting the movie set up was easy because I had learned how by now. And then, failing, to get the subtitles to work. All in all, we started the film forty minutes after it was supposed to begin.  

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!

Why, oh why, is this so difficult?

Four more classes to go… what adventures will await me tomorrow?